Friday, June 14, 2019

a strong woman is...

For my daughter:
As a mother of a daughter who is growing up very quickly, I am becoming very aware of what type of woman I hope she becomes. There has been a lot of media attention placed on the idea that women need to be strong. There are a lot of images being pushed and concepts portraying women who appear strong according to the current idea of what a strong woman should be. In today's media, a strong woman is independent, on her own, doesn't need a man, decides her own fate, and declares her ambition and self-pride in the face of any who dare question her. I see young girls following after the pattern of those in media telling us to be proud and loud, to be our own person who needs no one.

I dare say, I do not believe this is what a strong woman is or should be.  I grew up with many women  role models whom I always view as strong and amazing.  I grew up hoping to emulate these strong women. They were not famous. They were not on television, in politics, or in books. They were ordinary women living what most would call ordinary lives.  They were my grandmothers, aunts, and women in my church family. They were wives and mothers. They were followers of Jesus Christ.  They were beautiful, hard working, and strong. They were needed and also relied on others as they partnered with husbands and others to make sure things were accomplished. Most of all, they trusted God.

While society in general has misconstrued the value of being a wife and mother, these women in my life have lived out what it means to be a valuable wife and  mother. They fought hard to feed their children, make a home, and support their husbands. They were valued and important. They understood that as a wife, they were a partner with their spouse. They worked together with their husbands to make a good life, to raise their children to be a good part of society, and demonstrated great faith along the way.  I grew up watching these women and hearing their stories of overcoming great obstacles and struggles. I watched my maternal grandmother carry on after the loss of my grandfather as she still had her younger children to take care of. She worked hard, she raised a garden and canned food  to make sure her children never went hungry. She started off every morning early with her Bible and prayer and a very clean house.  I watched my paternal grandmother suffer the loss of two of her daughters. She never once gave in to anger or self pity. She, instead, clung to Jesus and faith that He was carrying them through it all. I remember stories told of how prayer and faith was answered with miracles. A dear woman I grew up admiring told of how she and her husband woke up to find their baby dead. They prayed and he came back to life. She told of how when they had no food, she prayed and God supplied.  I heard of travels and moving across the country with small children and perils faced from my grandmother and great aunt. I watched my own mother, day in and day out, care for us and many others. As a pastor's  wife, she had a lot on her plate, but she did not give up. She fought for others, prayed hard, worked hard and made a difference to many people.  I admired the courage and faith of my mother in law as she laid her husband to rest. These women imparted wisdom to their children, equipped them to live successful lives, and lived out their faith unabashedly. They were and are Biblically strong women. I have many women in my life right now whom carry on day to day as strong wives and mothers.  Not at all what media would consider as the example they want to advertise.

I go to Proverbs chapter 31. There is a description of  a truly strong woman.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.  The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.  She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.  She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.  She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.  She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.  She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.  She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.  She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.  She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.  She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.  She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.  Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.  She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.  Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.  She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.  She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.  Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.  Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.  Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord , she shall be praised.  Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:10‭-‬31 KJV

This woman is described as wise, hardworking, shrewd in business, a homemaker, and highly regarded by both her husband and children. She is an example of faith and praised by her husband and children.  She has earned this praise because of her strength of character and great care of her responsibilities.  She has worked day in and day out to make sure her family and home were cared for and excelled at her endeavors in and out of the home. None of this was about about self, but it was selfless and sacrificial. She gave of herself  for her family. Yet, she is highly valuable, of a price far above rubies.
The role of wife and mother is respected and valued by God as it is described here in Proverbs. She is greatly valued.

Society has taken away the value of the role of a wife and mother. We are told that we must choose between  being a wife and mother and being successful in society. We are told these roles are weak and worthless by media.

The Bible description is the opposite of the societal description of a strong woman.  Not once, did I ever see these women as less than equal or less than strong. They were partners with their spouses, spoke their mind, gave valuable input, and were respected and loved. They were and are my superheroes.  They are my living examples of what a strong woman should be.

I aspire to live a life as equally powerful and strong. I want my daughter to see a woman who is a wife and mother who lives a life full of faith. I want her to know she will be valuable in those roles as well as any career she may choose to pursue. She can stand in faith and live a life that portrays Jesus to her own children someday. I want her to know that strong women do not need to shout about how strong they are in the faces of all she meets. She will be praised by her children and husband.  She will be blessed because of the work she puts into her family and daily life. Her daily persistence and faithfulness will speak volumes of her worth.  I pray she sees how strong of a woman she can be when she leans on Jesus  and His Word. I pray that I can be an example of a strong Godly woman she will want to emulate. I pray she fulfills the description in Proverbs 31. May she see all the ordinary women around her and understand the strength they carry within them.

May all women be valued for they are precious in God's eyes. They are designed and given great purpose. They are to be partners and mothers. They are to be providers and keepers of hearts and homes. They are to be consistent and enduring. They are to be wise and faithful. May we attain this kind of strength knowing there are young girls in need of Godly examples of what it really means to be strong. May we seek to attain true strength.


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