forgiveness in the hurt

I have attended church my whole life. I go because I love God and I desire to honor Him with worship and obedience. I try to follow what I believe is instructed in His Word. In Hebrews 10:25 it says: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. We are part of the body of Christ and every part is important. (1Corinthians 12)  As the body we are connected and need one another. We are to love and protect one another. We are to lift up and encourage each other. It is very important for our spiritual growth and connection to be part of a community of believers.

We are part of the body, yet we are still human.  That human part can cause trouble for those in a particular assembly and for the body of Christ in general. I hesitate to go forward with this but God has been dealing with my heart on this subject. I have seen this happen many times and have experienced it several times myself. What is it? It is church hurt.  What do I mean? It is getting hurt by another member or even leadership in church. How does this happen? Well, it comes down to being human. We, as human beings, are not perfect, even in church. We can allow personal opinion, personal interpretation and pride to enter our hearts and our words and actions reflect this. We may lash out, we may speak hurtful words to others or about others, or we may even just misunderstand a situation.  There can be hurts that are caused intentionally and those that are unintentional. We are not being wise, nor obedient to God's Word when these matters happen or are left unattended. 

Those that intentionally are hurtful through words or actions are most definitely not obeying the commands of God.  Scripture tells us to love one another and be joined together in unity. We are to speak kindly to one another, not gossip, and avoid divisive spirits. If we are purposely hurting a brother or sister, we are allowing sin and participating in sin. This ought not be so. We are instructed to repent of sinfulness. We are to go to another in meekness and in a righteous way when we need to discuss a matter. Our words and deeds toward one another should reflect Christ in us. If we have failed in this respect, we need to make it right with those we have hurt and with God.

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

John 13:35 KJV

Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.

1 Corinthians 1:10 KJV

Now, we also have experienced unintentional hurt or misunderstandings. I know I have. We may have overheard a bit of conversation or allowed our own past or self conciousness to persist in telling us that someone said or did something. We may interpret incorrectly. We may be in the situation where someone assumes we said or did something. Misunderstandings lead to hurt.  We must be aware and prayerful when we realize this may be happening. We may need to ask a question or pray over a troubled feeling. We must be willing to forgive and also realize that Satan takes great pride in creating a problem when there isn't one. He can take a little thing and pour thoughts into our mind to distract and create a hurt because we listen to those whispers that say 'you aren't good enough,' or 'they don't really like you, you don't  fit in.'  These are the lies he likes to tell us. We should always be aware of these tactics of the enemy. He sows discord and hurt. 

If you have been hurt, intentionally or unintentionally, we also have a responsibilty. We are still responsible for our response to that hurt. The Word of God speaks to the hurting and broken. But most of all, we are instructed to forgive.  We are to forgive as Jesus has forgiven us. We are to be angry and sin not. He knows what it is like to be hurt, rejected, and betrayed. He experienced all of this himself. Yet, he forgives every single one of us. If we are to be Christlike, we are to forgive.

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:32 KJV

It sounds simple to say we forgive, but it is one of the hardest actions we take.  Forgiveness is a choice we must make and keep taking that action until the heart follows. Forgiveness takes a lot of prayer and more prayer.  I speak this from experience. We want to react out of anger and hurt. We want to punish, or walk away. But forgiveness means we not only say, 'I forgive,' but our hearts love and want good for that person as well.  

I read about Corrie Ten Boom. She endured great suffering and loss in the concentration camps of the Nazis. She survived and upon speaking to a group in Germany, she recognized a Nazi guard approaching her. That man asked for her forgiveness. She said that she knew she had to forgive, but in her heart she wanted to hate him and not do it. She prayed in that moment and asked God to help her to just take his extended hand. She knew she needed to at least take that action. In doing so, God not only helped her take his hand, her heart was flooded with love and forgiveness for the guard. She ended up embracing him with tears saying "I forgive you with all my heart!" She meant it.  This man had hurt her and her sister had died at his hand. Yet she was able to forgive. This story has always spoken to me of the mighty grace and mercy of God, not only for the guard, but for Corrie as well. They both were in desperate need of forgiveness. Forgiveness not only heals the forgiven, it heals the heart of the forgiver. We cannot remain unforgiving, for bitterness will be planted and grow. Bitterness will slowly choke and destroy a soul. 

If you have been hurt, you must find a way to forgive. Pray and reach out with forgiveness. The healing will come as you act on that forgiveness. 

Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.  Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:1‭-‬2 KJV

If you know someone who has been church hurt, we need to pray for them and reach out to them in love. We should restore them in love and care. We must be careful and considerate of these souls that need love and faith restored.

Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.  If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Romans 12:17‭-‬18 KJV

Hurt happens in this life and in a church. We make mistakes. We also have Christ who is working on our hearts and drawing us closer. We are to love one another enough to be careful of one another as well as to forgive one another. We are to be an example to the world of the love of God by how we treat each other in the good moments and especially in the difficult moments. May we extend grace and mercy. May we always assume the best of others and give the benefit of the doubt.  May the love of Christ flow through us to one another.   May forgiveness become our first response to others.