finding contentment

We are in the middle of uncertain times. I have never liked uncertainty. I am a long range planner.  I keep a calendar  and mark it well in advance. My kids know that I do not like it when they tell me they need to be somewhere or do something that was not on my calendar. It better have been planned for in advance!   I guess it is my way of feeling control and keeping down worry and stress.  But..... Here we are, in the middle of COVID19. Not one thing on my calendar or schedule is happening the way it was planned!  This has not made me happy, nor comfortable.  I like plans and certainty.  This is not it!  

I have had to let go of a lot of things and take one day at a time.  Do what can I do just for today. I have had to make tentative plans with contingency plans.  I do try to be flexible, but I find it a stress at times.  Why is this important? Well, I think God is trying to teach me just a little more , or maybe a lot, about how much more trust I need to place in Him. As I was praying and maybe even complaining a little, God reminded me of the the following scripture.

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:

Philippians 4:11 NKJV

Ok, So I was not content in this state.   I was most definitely not content.  God reminded me that the contentment he has for me, comes by trusting Him in the middle of trials, in the good times, and in uncertain times. I do not really have any ability to control any of it anyway. He is really the One in control. He is all knowing and all powerful. He knows what the future holds. I do not have and cannot claim any of that ability. But I can place all my hope and trust in Him, and know He is handling it all.  

But godliness actually is a source of great gain when accompanied by contentment [that contentment which comes from a sense of inner confidence based on the sufficiency of God].

1 Timothy 6:6 AMP

There is an inner peace that comes with knowing God is sufficient and we can rest in knowing Him. It is actually godliness to have this contentment. So with much prayer amd repentamce, I am finding more peace and contentment in the middle of one of the most uncertain times of my life. God is still God. He is in control. He is my Savior and my Peace. He is our Provider and our Protector.  We have no reason to fear and stress when we really trust Him.  My calendar is set to the side for now, and I am content in the state in which I find myself. I cannot fully plan much, but I can count on my faithful God to be right there.  No worry, no fear, just content.  Thank you Lord for reminding me how much I  truly need you and working on me just a little more to make me more of what you intend me to be.